The Fault in our stars.....

I know this isn't a beauty review but this is something that is close to my heart. Even though I am not big on reading books this is a book that just tore me up and i couldn't stop reading it. I know most people think the books just predictable and cliché however to me at the end it showed the true darkness of cancer. This is one to read before you watch the movie and I promise you won't be disappointed. In one of the scene's she said ' I'm a Grenade and at some point I’m going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties'. Just that sentence brought back all my memories as in 2006 my Nan lost her battle with cancer. 

This book truly got me thinking about my Nan and the importance of living life to the full. I wanted to share a bit about my Nan as I have always struggle actually talking about her. Let me just start with saying she was one of a kind, she helped out at play ground with the children, she baked cakes for charities and she would help out anyone that would ask. A week before she died she even drove elderly people to their hospital appointments so they didn’t need to get the bus. Those of a few things that my Nan did. 

She had fought cancer over nearly 10 years where she was in and out remission. It started of as breast cancer which then went to her liver, heart, and lungs. She was the most wonderful person that you would have ever met and I will never forgot her. The day she died my parents had arranged for us to go see a theatre production in London. They didn't want to spoil the day so they waited until the next morning to tell us. I remember them waking me up and sitting us down in their room. My mum burst into tears and I remember thinking please don't be Nan, please don’t be nan, anything but her. She was like my mum, she looked after me most of my life but I didn't know how sick she really was. I couldn’t catch my breath and all my emotions seem to crash down on me.  

Cancer is one of the worst, ugliest and scariest thing I have come across in my life. I live near a huge hospital where they test all these new drugs to cure cancer. My Nan was basically their guinea pig, she tried these drugs years before anyone knew about them. However none of them worked. The chemotherapy soon started to actually make my Nan mad. At one point when my mum visited my Nan, she started trying to call my mum even though she was sat right next to her.

Her funeral was all a blur but I remember a few things such as that everyone was asked to wear colour and that I wore a pink fluffy dress. The church was so full people were standing at the back and outside. She was loved by everyone. Instead of people giving flowers we asked people to donate to the hospital to get more equipment for the patients. I remember it rained at the burial ground and my mum said ‘the heavens are crying’.

It tore my family apart but made us stronger in the long run. Sorry about the rant but there are a lot of things that I can never speak about but instead I can write about. This book brought all my emotions back while I was on holiday and I believe it is a great book for people to understand the effects of cancer. I don’t want to give anything away but I recommend it very highly.

Please feel free to comment.

Jess
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